Week In a Word (Or a lot of words)

Its that time again!!! Time to endeavor on a journey into the mind of CoCo. I always try to make my posts a little more upbeat and exciting, however this past week had very little of those two things so I'm going to hit some low points too.

My last post I talked about turning 21, I wasn't sure how the whole thing was going to turn out...kind of scared me.haha It ended up being a lot fun sharing the day with my close friends. I also had some people over to go out with me that following weekend. My wonderful sister was able to come into town for the big event which made the night just that much better :) I also realized a few things that night; 1. don't rely on high heel shoes to get you through a night of dancing and walking, 2. people might not always follow through with plans. Yes, I realize that is a somewhat depressing statement, and also one that everyone knows. But it has been on my mind a lot lately so what the heck, I might as well blog about it.
I was so glad the people who came on friday night were there. To those of you who came: Thank you for being there!!! It meant a lot to me for you to come celebrate with me and it truly showed that you cared. I appreciate that a lot! I wouldn't have asked for better people in my life and am so blessed to have friends like you!
I am not the typical dramatic girl, but there are a few things that I don't mind getting on a soap box about. My friendship expectations is one of them. My friends have always been at the top of my priority list and anything I can do to make that known to them, I try to do. I never expect anything in return, I have learned that its better when you do things out of the fullness of your heart not looking to get anything back. People have respond to situations in different ways which is something I am reminded of when a close friend isn't there when I thought they would be. I know that people aren't perfect, I know I mess up a lot all on my own! However, the human-ness in me wants something back. It makes us feel good to be appreciated and know people care about us. When the people we love don't meet up to these expectations it does affect us because of this human factor.
Sorry, I got a little sidetracked (It's the soap box thing)....I went through most of this week upset with people because of a stupid birthday party. People didn't meet my expectations and it did hurt my feelings, even if I didn't want it to. Then I was reminded to look at my own life and how I act toward the person that I hold highest in my life, Christ. I realized that I do not show Him I care enough, whether it be through my actions or words. This week was a huge reminder of how easy it is to lose sight of who we are supposed to be in in Christ. Being upset with people for not following through on plans, or because you want them to care about pointless things more...will not make them change. We are to be LIKE Christ and to love like him (endlessly). If it were not for His love and forgiveness we would be nothing!! We are to turn over everything in our lives to Christ, especially friendships, because we are only going to be able to love and care for the people close to us if Christ is filling us with that love and care. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times.." this is only possible through Christ! We are to serve others and love our friends at all times whether or not we get it in return. Just a little reminder to you to not be selfish like I was; love your friends, care for them, show them you are there for them, and don't get caught up in wanting to get something in return. Be like Christ and give out of your heart what He has given to you.

I know this is post is a little long, but I had one other epiphany I think is worth sharing. This past week one of my horses died. She was old and it was expected to happen soon, but regardless it is never easy dealing with losing something you have had in your life since the 7th grade. She died late Monday night but I didn't hear the news until Tuesday after my first class. Mind you, this was the same Tuesday I was expected to take my Anthropology of Religions test. (For those who don't know, this is probably my hardest class and the one I am the least interested in...so this test was no easy A) After I heard the news I called my professor (lets just say he had to listen a little harder to understand me through my uncontrollable tears) I explained the situation and he was generous enough to let me put the test off another day. This was definitely a blessing from God!!! The rest of my day was spent going in and out of tear jerking moments as well as a random play in the snow with Bweave, her roommate, and her dog.

As random as it was, it got my mind off of the whole thing and allowed me to have a bit of a breather. The next day was a lot better, but it was/is still hard for me to get off of my mind. Thinking about Goldie made me think about my other horses and how much I truly miss being around them. I have always known that I wanted to pursue a "career" in horsemanship, but being at school and not being surrounded with my passion sometimes makes me lose site of how much happiness it brings me. After this week and much thought and prayer going into this experience, I am positive that God wants me to teach people about horses for His glory. Now I just have to make it through another year of school in order to fully pursue His plan for my life!!!

Well...there was plenty of other randomness I experienced this week that I would love to share, but I feel like that is deep enough for tonight. I will post again tomorrow!!! Thanks for reading this to the end

"Random Thoughts"

I stole the title of this post from my beautiful sister, Brittany's blog (please see http://britleigh24.blogspot.com/
for more details)

Fellow bloggers and friends,
I am sorry I have neglected to post in over two weeks...I have been busy with tests, papers, reading, watching way too much USA(because that's one of the only channels we have) and dance. Do not worry, I'm baaacckk! Just to give you an update on some of my feelings from the last couple weeks.
::WARNING:: content may be extremely random and contain topics that most people won't care about. If at any point while reading you feel this lack or caring...please remove yourself from my blog, I do not want that negative energy in here.

Latest Class Update:  I am taking an online government class this semester...it has its perks for being online. I can take quizzes and tests whenever I want, and I don't have to actually GO to the class. Last week I discovered a flaw in the system though. Since the class is entirely online and I have little or no contact with the professor I rely on the information posted online to find out what I need to do for the class. There was a code I was supposed to have for the class in order to access my essay articles...this code was not included in any of the requirements for the class. Since I did not have this code, or anyway of knowing I needed it...my paper was done a little more last minute than I would have liked. Thank you professor...I appreciate your lack to include details on the syllabus for an online class.

Valentines Day!!! I know that you have to be sick of hearing one of two things. In one group we have the people who have that wonderful significant other they cannot live without. These people are sick of hearing the people who are not in relationships whine about being alone and claim that Valentines Day is a Hallmark holiday that shouldn't be celebrated. In the other group we have the people who do not have someone to share this day with and they are tired of hearing the people who have loved ones talk about their special plans with them...they are also tired of seeing all of the couples together (these sightings are always increased around February 14th) Now...to these two groups I have one thing to say: you will always hear the complaints from the other group. So I say embrace this holiday! Honestly, I think the whole thing is a little lame and people should be able to celebrate their relationships any time they want. However I understand the point of the holiday and its nice to take a day to appreciate those we hold dear to our hearts...even if our dogs are the only ones included in that category.

Birthday Plans:
I never thought the day would come that I could say I was 21. I remember that it was almost wishful thinking that it would ever get here. I can finally put that wishful thinking aside because in 3 hours this wish will come true. Going to watch my friend at a comedy show and then I'm not too sure what the night holds and will definitely update you on the details tomorrow. I can promise it won't be crazy, but there will be some new experiences happening...Peace and Love! Now I'm heading out to laugh 21 years off of my life!

Hebrews 12

Sometimes I keep my struggles and pains to myself a little too much. I think of the problems going on with other people or in other countries and I push my problems aside. I'm not an "open book" and I don't tend to wear my heart on my sleeve for any one's taking. However, tonight when I was thinking about the reasons why I was feeling overwhelmed I was reminded to think of the last time I was and open book with God. I get so focused on not telling the people around me about my struggles and not placing my sorrows on any one else...I sometimes forget that God wants to hear my struggles. Even though He already knows what's going on in my life, He wants to hear me tell him, to be honest with him about what I am dealing with. As humans, we get so caught up in life and what is going on here on earth, that we sometimes forget that the ONE who cares more than any one else, wants to hear our stories about our day and wants to know how our hearts are broken. As I was sitting thinking of all of the crazy-ness in the world and in my life I was reminded of a few verses that continually remind me of who God is to me.

Hebrews 12: 1-3

      Therefore, since we are surrounded by such great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will NOT grow weary and lose heart.

This verse literally takes my breath away. No matter how many times I read it and dwell on it, Gods grace and love for me is so great! I love how it starts and ends with us getting rid of our baggage and our doubts, our worries and our sorrows. He doesn't want us to forget that they have already been taken care of, Jesus "endured the cross" to get rid of all of our pain. I can't get over this...just saying that brings tears to my eyes.

We serve a God who is faithful and just! A God who asks so much but requires nothing of us. A God who loves and cares and forgives. We call him by His many names...Creator, Savior, Alpha, King, Yahweh, Lord, El Shaddai, Shepherd, Father, Emanuel, I Am, Adonai. 

If you haven't read the entire chapter in Hebrews then you definitely should! Next time you get worried or anxious, I challenge you to look at this passage and depend on God to be your stronghold.