My last post I talked about turning 21, I wasn't sure how the whole thing was going to turn out...kind of scared me.haha It ended up being a lot fun sharing the day with my close friends. I also had some people over to go out with me that following weekend. My wonderful sister was able to come into town for the big event which made the night just that much better :) I also realized a few things that night; 1. don't rely on high heel shoes to get you through a night of dancing and walking, 2. people might not always follow through with plans. Yes, I realize that is a somewhat depressing statement, and also one that everyone knows. But it has been on my mind a lot lately so what the heck, I might as well blog about it.
I was so glad the people who came on friday night were there. To those of you who came: Thank you for being there!!! It meant a lot to me for you to come celebrate with me and it truly showed that you cared. I appreciate that a lot! I wouldn't have asked for better people in my life and am so blessed to have friends like you!
I am not the typical dramatic girl, but there are a few things that I don't mind getting on a soap box about. My friendship expectations is one of them. My friends have always been at the top of my priority list and anything I can do to make that known to them, I try to do. I never expect anything in return, I have learned that its better when you do things out of the fullness of your heart not looking to get anything back. People have respond to situations in different ways which is something I am reminded of when a close friend isn't there when I thought they would be. I know that people aren't perfect, I know I mess up a lot all on my own! However, the human-ness in me wants something back. It makes us feel good to be appreciated and know people care about us. When the people we love don't meet up to these expectations it does affect us because of this human factor.
Sorry, I got a little sidetracked (It's the soap box thing)....I went through most of this week upset with people because of a stupid birthday party. People didn't meet my expectations and it did hurt my feelings, even if I didn't want it to. Then I was reminded to look at my own life and how I act toward the person that I hold highest in my life, Christ. I realized that I do not show Him I care enough, whether it be through my actions or words. This week was a huge reminder of how easy it is to lose sight of who we are supposed to be in in Christ. Being upset with people for not following through on plans, or because you want them to care about pointless things more...will not make them change. We are to be LIKE Christ and to love like him (endlessly). If it were not for His love and forgiveness we would be nothing!! We are to turn over everything in our lives to Christ, especially friendships, because we are only going to be able to love and care for the people close to us if Christ is filling us with that love and care. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times.." this is only possible through Christ! We are to serve others and love our friends at all times whether or not we get it in return. Just a little reminder to you to not be selfish like I was; love your friends, care for them, show them you are there for them, and don't get caught up in wanting to get something in return. Be like Christ and give out of your heart what He has given to you.
I know this is post is a little long, but I had one other epiphany I think is worth sharing. This past week one of my horses died. She was old and it was expected to happen soon, but regardless it is never easy dealing with losing something you have had in your life since the 7th grade. She died late Monday night but I didn't hear the news until Tuesday after my first class. Mind you, this was the same Tuesday I was expected to take my Anthropology of Religions test. (For those who don't know, this is probably my hardest class and the one I am the least interested in...so this test was no easy A) After I heard the news I called my professor (lets just say he had to listen a little harder to understand me through my uncontrollable tears) I explained the situation and he was generous enough to let me put the test off another day. This was definitely a blessing from God!!! The rest of my day was spent going in and out of tear jerking moments as well as a random play in the snow with Bweave, her roommate, and her dog.
As random as it was, it got my mind off of the whole thing and allowed me to have a bit of a breather. The next day was a lot better, but it was/is still hard for me to get off of my mind. Thinking about Goldie made me think about my other horses and how much I truly miss being around them. I have always known that I wanted to pursue a "career" in horsemanship, but being at school and not being surrounded with my passion sometimes makes me lose site of how much happiness it brings me. After this week and much thought and prayer going into this experience, I am positive that God wants me to teach people about horses for His glory. Now I just have to make it through another year of school in order to fully pursue His plan for my life!!!
Well...there was plenty of other randomness I experienced this week that I would love to share, but I feel like that is deep enough for tonight. I will post again tomorrow!!! Thanks for reading this to the end
Love you.
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